Zeus

Hi, my name is Zeus. King of the cuddle gods. Ruler of 4 am, Kisses. Protector of Hearts.

I love to give kisses and cuddle — it’s basically my full-time job. Benefits include unlimited love and the occasional belly rub bonus.

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I have no eyes, but trust me… I see in ways most can’t. I navigate through sound, trust, faith, footsteps, floor vibrations, energy — and most importantly, Iove is my GPS.

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No need to rearrange the furniture for me. I’ve got the floor plan memorized. Every now and then, I might misjudge a step — but hey, even sighted folks walk into walls while texting. I adjust, recalibrate, and carry on like the resilient legend I am.

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They call me The Medicine Man because I feel energy like a pro. If something is off, I know. Sad mood in the room? I’m already there. Heavy heart? I’ve got a cuddle for that. I heal places you didn’t even realize needed healing — and I do it with zero co-pay.

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The official details: I’m neutered, up to date on vaccines, and on a whole foods diet. Yes, I’m spiritually enlightened and nutritionally optimized.

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If you’re looking for a loving companion, a soulful healer, and a professional distributor of luscious kisses and next-level cuddles… congratulations.

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You didn’t just hit the jackpot — you summoned a god.